put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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