Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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