At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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