You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
