wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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