i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
