i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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