Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
