Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
