I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
