I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
