so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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