Please, let me fuck your mom
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
