I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
