NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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