you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
