I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
