You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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