No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
