Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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