I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
