put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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