At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
