Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
