I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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