what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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