You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
