I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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