if i can run in heels then i can drive
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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