i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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