Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
