And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You're earring is so big in my mouth
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
