do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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