it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
