i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
