i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
