I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
