theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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