Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
