I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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