The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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