"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
