I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
