She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
barbara walters just said penis...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have fence marks all over my body
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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