Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
vagina is talking i cant
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
