my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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