my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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