I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Send help, water and tortillas.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
