Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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