I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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