Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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