you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize