I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
