she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
