is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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