hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
