insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize