i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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