It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
