so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
