after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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